||[Aug. 27th, 2006|10:28 pm]
The Crack that Never Was
|||||Needa git smash'd||]|
With Saix speeding after the squeaky (and into Twilight Town), plowing through any poor souls that happened to bar his way, Luxord considered this a mission accomplished. His mauled leg was proof of it. Let it never be said Luxord never did anything benificial for the Organization, because he was sure bleeding (darkness) all over the place for it now.
With the utmost grace and dignity, he trudged back through the portal, NOT into Twilight Town, but back the way he came and into the Castle that Never Was. Once he emerged from the portal, he was pleased to find that his redirection of the portal's destination had been done correctly.
Before him stood the monstrous stash of Xigbar's alcohol, towering shelf after shelf of wine, liquor and other beverages in a room spanning several hundred feet. Each shelf was increasingly laden with bottles of liquid guaranteed to get him thoroughly smashed. It was in a hidden room of course and the trio consisting of Xigbar, Luxord and Xaldin took great care to make sure the others of the organization remained ignorant of it, going so far as to move it whenever someone would stumble upon it by sheer luck.
(Except Xemnas How the hell did he keep finding it?!)
Man, if ever there was a time he needed a quick swig, NOW was the time. Xigbar would understand.
And if he didn't well... sucked to be him.
Xigbar's head shot up suddenly as his Stash Sense(tm) went off. He held up his hand to Xaldin, signaling for him to be quiet as he listened intently. "Dude, shh." His ears pricked as he heard the slight "tink" of a bottle being removed from the sacred shelves.
"Xal.. someone is in our stash," he said anxiously. Luxord was the only one allowed in the room besides Xaldin and himself, and he swore if either the crazy scientist or the big creepy guy was in there, he'd be laying some smackdown. Well, if it was Lexaeus, he'd have to enlist the help of Xaldin because that guy was effin huge. Who knows what he could do when tipsy?
Xigbar growled. "Dude. Forget the food. I'm gonna have to kill someone." He waved a hand for Xaldin to follow him as he ran to the secret passage way that led to the stash. He brought out his guns and stood by the door in a very Tomb Raider-esqe pose before kicking in the door and screaming, "DROP THE ALCOHOL, BITCH!"
Luxord half turned, seemingly unaffected by Xigbar's threat. He'd been mauled by Sai'X and he was seriously not in the mood to get shot, especially not if one of those bullets happened to be the specialized ones that did godawful things to their target. He rose the bottle as if a toast to Xigbar's aggression.
"Trust me, the last thing I intend to do is drop it." Downing it, however would be a more reasonable request. He opening the bottle and started on its contents.
"Larxene's been table'd in the head, Saix is on the pink-fritz and both are in the same town as the keyblade do-gooders and the traitors."
He paused a moment in thought before tossing the bottle towards Xigbar, as if in invitation to join in the tankage. He raised an eyebrow as if suddenly realizing that Xibar had finally shown himself.
"I spent a considerable amount of time searching for everyone, only to stumble upon femnazi and the squeak-destroyer. Where in the worlds were you?"
Xigbar blinked in his self proclaimed "Super Cool Aiming Spin Pose" before lowering his arms. "Oh. It's you," he said before spinning his guns around his hands and dematerializing them.
He rubbed the back of his head and replied, "Well, Larx has been hunting my ass for making a joke about her.. well." He laughed. "So, we have the whole troop back now, eh?"
His grin suddenly faltered. "Wh-wait. What happened to Larxene?!" He took an offensive stance, "Where's she at?!"
Xaldin started to follow Xigbar in on Luxord... "MY BOOZE. YOU FOUL PUTRID SON OF A --" He yelled. "MY BOOZE!!!!" He yelled again. Xaldin couldn't believe that someone was drinking his alcohol. He was about ready to flip.
He slowly pressed on to Luxord, materializing a lance read to carve him up. He then remembered nothing good could come of this. Xaldin started mumbling to himself. "I'm going to my happy place going to my happy place." He curled up into a ball and rolled himself into the corner totally disregarding the lance that had just stabbed him in the ribs.
"Going to my happy place... going to my happy place." He repeated over and over. Soon enough his episode was over. Though... something was different. There was a violent flicker in his eye. And he had a very noticeable twitch. "Hehe..tehehe... stabbity" Xigbar knew what was coming though Luxord had a perplexed look. Xaldin then materialzed about 7 spears and began to walk towards Luxord again. Luxord was closed in on this side of the room and there was no room for him to move. There was only sweet sweet death for the gambler.Xaldin then roared a huge laugh. Yelling repeatedly "STABBITY STABBITY" He lunged at Luxord.
Xigbar was completely unphased by Xaldin's Stabbity Rampage(tm). It was all pretty normal for the Whirlwind Lancer to go psycho every few days. He had been too calm lately anyhow.
As Xaldin flew by Xigbar in an attempt to carve Luxord into a christmas turkey, Xigbar thwapped him on the back of the head with accuracy that could only come from being a sniper. He eyed Xaldin as he hit the floor and flipped him over with his boot. "Lux, pour some Gin down his throat while he's out. It'll chill his stabbity nerves," sighed the freeshooter.
*a dark portal opens above lux, xigy, and xaldin* *lands on xigbar causing him to collapse onto xaldin* ah-ha!! glad you three can make it!! we were just on our way to port royale! *leans in and whispers into xigbar's ear* (there's more rum over there) *grins* mwhahaha *opens another dark portal and goes to port royale*
*the dark portal opens over a mysterious vessel with black sails as 8 members of the organization, with sora, riku, kairi, nami, and pence plummet to the ship that floats below them* wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! *CrAsH!i!i!i!i *looks around for booze* you sir!! *hollars at a silouette dashing about the ship* you look like you would kno... why is the rum gone!?